Bye bye unforgettable 2013, Hello my year 2014

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As the start of 2014 is only two days away, I felt the need to go back through the year of 2013, the year of highly considered spiritual number - 13. I wrote about this in the beginning of this year, how many people believe 13 is the number of unluck, but as an optimist I have always considered it a lucky number (you can read it here). Therefore, I was excited about this year last January, even though everything in my life was a huge questionmark, I really had no clue what future would bring and what I should do next.

And oh far we have come from that state of confusion.

So, was the year 2013 a lucky year for me, after all those hopeful wishes?

Well, let me say it was like 50/50. The first half wasn’t that fortunate, as time after time I got turned down with the universities I applied in Scotland. Well, in retrospect, I am now wise enough to know it was all meant to be this way. Now when looking back, it is funny to see how things have sort of linked to each other and led me ahead towards this entirely new path I’m walking on now. So yeah, first half wasn’t that happy time for me, but luck turned in the beginning of June, when I booked the flights to London as a consolation price after that Scotland mess.

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Oxford has a special spot in my heart, but after that visit last June, the preciousness of the place just grew. How much can happen in four days, seriously? (Find out about this here) A LOT. All the things that unexpectedly occurred during my stay just simply changed everything, and I am forever thankful for me for listening my heart having the random desire to book the flights there and actually doing it. If I hadn’t, things would be utterly different.

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If I had to think of words to best describe this year, one of them would definitely be unexpected. This year so many unexpected things happened that if someone had told me a year before, I would have never believed him. Seriously, if someone had come to me and told me that I would find myself staring Nation’s Capitol and walking among the skyscrapers of NY this year, I would have never, not in my most wicked dreams have believed it.

Although, it did happen.

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Thus, we come to another word to verbalize this year: unforgettable. I will remember the summer of 2013, one of the most unforgettable summers in my life. I was head over heels for this guy, I had an amazing summer with him and will never forget it. Actually to be honest, I will probably never be able to thank him enough. He means more to me that I can verbalize. As cliché as it may sound, but because of him, many dreams of mine came true this year. Moreover, looks like the wildest, craziest dream I have ever had, the one I never thought even possible, will come true next year. And it’s all him. If I hadn’t went to Oxford, I would have never met him, and none of these things would have happened.

So thank you, you. And thank you fate!

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Yeah, third word: fate. Fate really has traveled with me through the year, and I have enjoyed its company! Like I said earlier, in retrospect I have noticed how all these occurences have formed this link of events and thus, a path towards an opportunity I hadn’t even thought about before this summer, this is the thing I have been so vague about these past months!! Just look at this yourself, just moving from one stop to another, like a PLAN: First the unsuccess with the Scottish universities > a consolation trip to Oxford > randomly met this lovely girl in a book store > then met this American guy and other great Americans and had the best time > next, an idea pops to my mind:

Could I study at university in the States?

And what did I do after I came back home? I started the research and found something. In disbelief I read: Make your dream come true and study at college in the United States. Scholarships for Scandinavians ..studying cheaper..

It was too good to be true, but actually TRUE!!

I put the idea in the back of my mind to brew and just focused on to enjoy the summer, and what did happen? One thing led to another (again like a plan) and somehow I found myself in a plane to Chicago in August 13th.(See the number 13 on the date, what did I discuss in the beginning? CREEPY KARMA!) Like I wrote back in August after my adventure in the States (you can read it here,) that trip cleared my mind in various ways, and one of those ways was one I didn’t mention back then.

I knew back then for sure, I could move there for four years for my studies. I liked it, it was different from England, but good different. I haven’t told about this to many people until now, since I have always thought it impossible to happen. But, since I was a little girl, I have dreamed about walking on college campus wearing my school coloured hoodie, going to my school team’s baseball games, experience homecoming and most of all, I have dreamed about that moment I can wear that black rope and graduation cap.

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I have always dreamed about that kind of Univerisity experience.

Maybe that’s because Finnish universities have never lured me. We don’t have such things here. That is the reason I applied to Scotland, as they have some similarities to American colleges like living on campus. But yeah, again in my wildest dreams I would have not believed this dream would come true.

Yet again, it looks like it might.

Another word to add to the list: dreamy

This is so nerving, as I haven’t fully understood this myself and I haven’t talked about this in public, only just lately I have started to tell about this to people outside of my closest circle of family and friends. I guess I am still scared it might not come true that something goes wrong. However, I applied for the scholarships in the fall, worked my ass off to make the motivational letter perfect again and got recommendation letters etc.

After that, I waited. You can imagine me in this situation as the horror memories of rejection emails from Scotland still haunted me, and the state of disbelief and confusion as the lady who helped me out with the application just said: Oh you just wait, you will be getting 7-10 offers.

Obviously, I could not believe it.

Yet, however, somehow, on November 15th - I receiver a list of offers in my email. There was eight of them. Eight offers. Eight universities would want me to come there and study at their university and I could CHOOSE where I want to go.

I was like:

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I got in?

The amount of disbelief in me was skyhigh.

Luck and happiness, those are the major words for this year. The first half of this year was bad, yes, I had no clue what to do with my life. Actually, you might say I was a bit lost at the time. The only thing I seemed to want to do hadn’t go as planned. I had no other plan. Still somehow the trip to Oxford somehow started the link of events that led me to this opportunity and turned my luck. From disappointments with Scotland, I am finally here sitting and writing about the fact that I would have that little girl dream of mine come true, would go to college in the States and get that black graduation cap one day.

Unable to believe it? Tell me about it. I will tell you more details about this later, this past month I have been checking out the schools and trying to make a decision where I want to go. (CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? Last spring I didn’t get in anywhere, and now I CAN CHOOSE where I want to go????) This is mental. I have only one thing to say:

Hard work paid off, after all.

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But yeah, there are many things to sort out, like finances etc, I am trying to keep my feet on the ground, not to get overly excited, if something goes wrong. See? I am becoming a cynic, I should be jumping around in joy but no, I am afraid someone or something will take this away from me.

This is just too good to be true, that’s all. Nah, I should probably just start and enjoy this that finally I did it. I succeeded. I got in. I wrote about this as well somewhere along the road this year. How someday, instead of failing, I will succeed and the victory will taste even sweeter thanks to failures before. Well, I guess that some day has arrived, at last. And yeah, the victory tastes absolutely delicious. I cannot believe this is happening!!

To sum up, this year was a bloody hell a lucky year for me, and I have a feeling next year will be even better. The karma with numbers is with me on this one as well, as it will be 2014. If you look at my tumblr name, there is one particular special number to me that is attached to it. It’s my birthday number. I don’t know why, but when I was little I always liked number four, and 14, it just stuck. So next year will be interesting, I am sure of it! I proved the number 13 to be a lucky number this year instead of unfortunate, actually I have something to add on that one; 13th of December 2013, was a Friday, yes Friday 13th, the unlycky day of the year, I celebrated my 21th birthday with my closest girlfriends. And that day has been, so far, the happiest, luckiest day of my entire life.

So 13 is a definite lucky number. No objections.

Thank you everyone for this beautiful, dreamy year. Have a fabulous New Year’s!

Let’s see what beautiful and dreamy next year will bring. I probably said this in the beginning of this year, but nah never mind.

I have a feeling 2014 will be my year.

- lovesme14 forever and a day

From dear diary to online blogging

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I am pretty sure that majority of girls are familiar with this famous statement above. I bet there are only few girls who hasn’t own a diary at least once in their lives. I got my first diary in the most common way, as a birthday present, somewhere around when I was ten years old. It was very typical little girl’s diary, a horse on the pastell cover with a small lock that no one will ever get to read your secrets hidden inside. Naturally, you always hid the key somewhere.

A diary has always hold the status as an unwavering friend, a friend  to whom you can tell absolutely anything, even the darkest, oddest and most embarrasing thoughts that you never could tell anyone, not even to your best friend. When I was ten, the most embarrasing secret of mine was that I liked this boy, just a normal boy in my class, but oh my when you like someone, you cannot tell anyone, right? I’m pretty sure many others know what I mean. Oh why cannot life be still that simple?

Moreover, diary was always the one you always told about your day, even when nothing special happened, which was almost every day as you were bloody ten years old and nothing happens in ten year old’s life besides school, barbie dolls and hide and seek. My posts were usually like:

Dear diary,

Today I was in school and I had mathematics, I hate math as I am not good at it. One boy in my class was really nice and helped me though. It was nice. During break I played tag with my friends, also with this boy. It was fun. I think I might like him. Then after school I went to library and got this book about horses. Then I went home and did my homework. Then I read this book about horses and then ate icecream..

Shall I carry on or you got the point?

Yeah, back in those days life was so simple and the usage of linking words was unknown. Oh, but still you wrote, even though you didn’t have actually much to tell, but back in those days all that seemed super important! Oh sweet times, such a sweet times those childhood times.

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To be honest, I didn’t wrote that many posts back when I was a child. I always got a new diary, wrote couple of posts and then got bored doing it. Only couple first pages where always filled with words and the rest of the pages remained blank. Well, I have always been like that, I get enthusiastic about something and then the verve subsides almost as soon as it found me, and that is one thing that still hasn’t changed.

And now, we come to the point.

Diaries have changed a lot from those childhood days. Once diaries used to be private, when today diaries have become public, as blogging has become a huge trend across the globe. People spread their thoughts and tell about themlselves and their lives online so openly these days that those childhood days indeed feel very faraway.

Don’t get me wrong, people still do old-fashioned diaries as well, I have one I could not live without. Actually, I have written in this diary of mine more than I ever wrote during my childhood years. Although, the style has changed a bit from that “then and then and then”. Haha. 

In addition to the traditional diary, I have been pouring down my thoughts and stuff about my life here online soon almost a year. More or less at least. Like I said, I have always been the kind of person who gets excited about something but loses interest almost as soon as I got excited about it in the first place and then get excited again later. So with this blog, looking at the archive you can see the months I have been really enthusiastic about blogging filled with many posts and also the not-so-excited-months with only a few posts. What can I say, some things just never change.

Yet again, some things have. I may have not got the hang of regular diary keeping, but I am still writing. It is not regular, it is when I feel like it, both with my private diary and this blog. To some people, writing is a daily routine, and I know if I wish to become a professional writer someday, I need to find some routine too, but for now I think it is better not to force it, you know? My point being, if I don’t feel like writing, why write? The outcome of that would just be simply bad writing. I have learned that compulsion of such creative actions might in worst cases kill the verve and inspiration to do it at all. And that is the last thing I want.

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So my point being here is, that I am sorry I am not posting in regular basis, but it’s just not who I am and I want you to know it. I will probably never be one of those bloggers who post regularly about something. This blogging has always been like a side hobby for me. Therefore, writing here is not that frequent.

What can I say, I wasn’t a true diary girl when I was a child and I might never be a true blogger either. I enjoy this, but on my time basis. Sometimes the blog might be filled with posts daily, sometimes it might be a month’s silence. It’s the same with my own diary, sometimes I write daily, sometimes only rarely. I write when I need to write something, when I feel like it, wherever and how often that happens to be.

Like this post, for example, I don’t know why I wanted to write about this, but you know when you feel like writing about something, you just do. At least, now if there are some regular followers you know that silence here doesn’t mean that I would not be writing anymore. Cause I will, it just happens when I feel like doing it, when I have something to share.  I would have a lot to tell you about what is happening in my life right now, but I can’t. Cause it’s all still a secret and I am not ready to pour it down here in my online journal just yet.

Maybe next time? Who knows.

- lovesme xx
 

My New York part. 10 The Statue of Liberty and Central Park

This is the last part of my New York pictures everyone!

I hope that at least a tiny bit of magic I experienced in New York came across through my pictures. :)

- lovesme

My New York part 8. Chinatown

One thing to say only: go to Joe’s Shanghai, absolutely delicious food!

My New York part. 7 The Streets of New York

New York is absolutely magical at night, but another thing I just loved about NY is the streets. Seriously, just by walking on the street you see so many different people. You hear so many different languages when you’re just standing in the traffic lights. It’s like the whole world is in that city, a true melting pot of cultures! And gosh all the noise the city has, the honking of taxis, the swearing of New Yorkers, the police cars and fire trucks on duty. It is all real! The city is never silent. Now I believe the fact they say the city never sleeps.  It is always so alive, through the day and night.

Moreover, I must say that the conception of New York we get from tv-shows and movies is actually quite true. The city has its pros and cons. In some places it can be very dirty, not that safe, it’s super busy and people might not always be that nice to you, but then again New York has this powerful spirit that just strikes people very strongly. It has so much to offer, I believe that’s the reason so many people have gone there in the first place; there is something for everyone! Moreover, I don’t know if it’s the magnitude of the city both in spirit and in size but It really makes you feel everything is possible. I can truly say I got the hang of this famous statement of NY: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

I so want to go back now!

- lovesme

My New York part. 6, Empire State Bulding at night

Ok, I don’t even know what to add. I let the pictures speak for themselves on this one. This is another must do: Go up there in the Empire State building and just admire it all. Look around and just let your jaw drop. 

It is a bloody breathtaking view. I cannot believe I was there!

As you can see from the smile I am wearing on the pictures.

I was having the time of my life that night.

- lovesme